Jordan Feliz sings “There’s no distance that I can’t reach you…” about the love our Father has for us and how He comes for us.
It’s hard to know this truth until you’ve been to the pit, the place you thought was out of God’s reach.
Two years ago, I hit that place. Rock bottom. A deep pit. A place I thought I’d never leave. Telling God, just leave me, go find someone else, I’m useless, no good. I’m hurt beyond repair.
Our sweet third child, a boy, was born. Loved. Cherished. This isn’t about him, but about that time. I had built a home that I was trying to “self sustain”, all on my own. Mostly pride drove the desire to be in control, but so did fear.
Being a believer, this was a hard place to admit I was and that I needed help and support, but that is exactly where I was. So at rock bottom, I accepted help from many avenues: doctors, counselors, family, and friends. I knew if God wasn’t going to leave me there like I asked that things had to change. I couldn’t go on the same.
Two years later, things are better. I’m moving. Growing. Seeking. Still need help and support. Don’t we all?
This morning I picked up “None like Him” by Jen Wilkins (read it!). I’m on chapter four and guess what the title is “Self-Sufficient” and it is in reference to God, not me. I am not God, so that is not a characteristic I get to claim, even if I want to. So, I’m still learning how to lean on others, accepting help, and walking in humility. It’s not easy when you’ve built up a mindset that you are fine and can do it all. But, slowly I’m changing. The flow is changing, the pace is slower, and the people in my life are completely intentional.
This journey is a marathon, not a sprint. I wanted a sprint. I wanted to get through that season lightning fast, which left me frustrated some days thinking I “should” be in a different place, but acceptance is the first step, accepting right where you are.
If I had time, I’d sit down with you and tell you all the amazing things that happened in that pit. I can look back and see the roll it played in my family, in the lives of friends, in myself. It’s a beautiful time. I didn’t think that then.
- I now know truly that there is no place we can go that He cannot reach us.
- His love can pour over us anew, His forgiveness can be more real than we have ever experienced.
- Grace and love from people around you opens up when you admit you need help. Because one day they’ll need it too.
- And I can promise He wants you, just you, as is, no achieving, no striving, broken and a mess. He wants that person. He sees worth, sweet worth from a Savior that will never ever leave us. He can’t, He’s in us.
Be encouraged friend, you are never too far gone.
Read Psalm 139