Small beginnings

We begin something new.  We start, but it doesn’t end the way we think it will.  We take a different route.  We try a new craft or creative outlet.

I like starting new things.  But sometimes it gets hard.  A new lesson with old feelings attached.  I want to start something new, and settle in.  Like into a big fluffy couch.  But it seems anything worth while in this life will keep us on our toes, growing, learning, responding, teaching.

I’m not sure I’m clear today.  I’m struggling with small beginnings.  I like to pick something up, and be awesome at it immediately.  Anyone else?  Writing is challenging for me.  It’s a place of insecurity.  But the more I do it, the more it flows.  But it was so small at first.

I paid for a blog (for accountability to actually do it), committed to write twice a week, to grow this practice.  It’s not flourishing yet, but it is a move in the right direction.  It is growing this passion in me to write.  I like how it feels.  It feels inspiring, which matches with my personality type.

The verse in my quiet time yesterday was Zechariah 4:10 “ Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin…”  WOW!  He is so good.  The reminder.

Maybe you came from a small town, our Savior did.  Maybe you don’t have a perfect look, people were not drawn to our Savior because He looked pretty.  Maybe you’re not sure you have what it takes, but don’t discount your small beginnings.

David was the smallest boy in his family when God chose him to be Israel’s next king.  Our Savior rode into Jerusalem on a donkey in the triumphal procession.  Ruth lost her husband and was living with her mother in law when she found Boaz and became a part of Jesus’ lineage.

God does not despise small beginnings.  He loves them!

So take whatever next step God is calling you too.  He will meet you there.  Sometimes we have to step in faith to know that He is there.  Then we get to tell others, He is there.

It is never just for us.  I like that.

 

Just enough for today

My blog name.  I wrestled with writing a blog.  I’ve never done anything like this before.  Yet, something called.  A peace.  Even an excitement at what might come at my sitting and waiting and writing it down.

It is a beautiful thing to trust God with something new.  Something uncertain.

Most days I have no idea what I will write.  And even in the stewing the days prior, thinking over words or ideas not much comes.  A lot of mumbled mess.  This is how I used to write.  In school I had all these ideas and I had such a difficult time picking one and sticking to it.  The pressure was too great to just pick one topic.

Prayer. 

It’s not a big prayer, but each day when I go to write, I ask God what He wants me to talk about.  The better days are ones where I’ve listened a little longer and got the clearer picture.  But still I write.

So, today, as I’m getting my car inspected I’m reading Daring to Hope.  And I am desperately trying to finish my two books for the month of April, which have proved challenging with kids in school, connect groups and family visiting-you know life.

Daring to Hope has been another life-giving pics this month.  I thought I would feel insecure reading about this sweet girl name Katie Davis Majors who has adopted all of these Ugandan girls, single and runs a ministry.  I mean that alone intimidates me.  But as I read, I hear this real life person.  This woman, a mom working this faith thing out each day.  Its beautiful and powerful.  It has made me appreciate the dark times, motherhood and ministry.

As I’m reading she italicizes this idea just enough for that day.  I was struck.

Those words.  Just enough for that day.

Those words have meant so much to me in these four months of writing.  Asking God each day what He wants from me.  What He wants me to be real about, to share a piece of my heart.  It is humbling.

He’s calling me to new things, things uncertain, but things that He is going to walk with me through.  And I can trust that I have just enough for today.

I don’t need an overflow, just enough.  

So I’m sitting on this phrase today.

I’m not exactly sure what our future holds, but I will have just enough each day to live it out.  

His promises are true, and He is faithful to provide.  We just need to ask.

 

Right where you are

“I’m not healed yet.”  “When I feel more together I’ll serve.  I’ll help.”  “I can’t help that person.  I don’t have time.  It’s too much.”

Some of those phrases are true.  Some of them are not.

Perfectionism says we have to be in the perfect spot at the perfect time to do the perfect thing to help the perfect person get to the perfect place where they feel perfect, completely together.

Wow.  As I write this out I see how ridiculous that statement is and how impossible it is.  No wonder we don’t chase our dreams and goals.  Or just help someone.  We aren’t sure if we are the “one” that needs to help them, or we aren’t sure if we can commit to that sort of time.  These are all valid statements, unless they are statements we use over and over.

Because, at the end of the day we are all busy.  We are all stretched.  Maybe we need to say no, so we can say yes to the things that give us life.  To make room for life-giving stuff.  I don’t know what that is for you.

I didn’t understand this.

So for the past few years I’ve had to say no a lot, to a lot of things.  Three kids five and under can do that.  But I also know there are things that bring me to life.  Writing is one.  Mentoring is another.

Writing I’ve made a purpose to pursue each week.  Mentoring was one I was feeling the itch to add, but I had no idea how.

If we look up, we will see God using us even in these moments.  These moments where we aren’t sure if we are ready or not.  Hint: I will never know if I’m ready or not.  I can’t sit back my whole life, safe, wondering if it’s time or not.

So I moved.  I’ve wanted to meet with a  few of our college girls, and a door opened for me to start a small group with a few of them.  It’s the second small group I serve with.  And it is totally life-giving.  In saying that there’s not one perfect thing to do.  We just have to do, do something.

Two months ago, I was asked to play volleyball for our church and at the time it just didn’t fit in our schedule.  I was pretty frustrated.  Wondering when life was going to let up so I didn’t feel so overwhelmed with the slightest change.

Now, sitting with that truth two months later.  Mondays are the night we were able to meet for this small group.  And it is so completely life-giving.

What is one life-giving thing you can pursue with God?

Writing

I’m off this week.  A little jostled.  Like my tiny world shifted a little too much this week.

So today I’m still writing.  I don’t want to write only when I feel awesome or when I feel I have the most amazing word for someone.  But I want to write, and do it on days that I don’t feel like it too.  Because I feel called to it.  To write.

The one thing I hear over and over if you want to write is to keep your butt in the chair and write.  Today is that day for me.

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I want to write not just to feel better, but to see change and growth.  To see this craft turn into something beautiful, an art work.

If you told me a year ago, I would thoroughly enjoy writing, I’d laugh.  My claim over myself for years was I’m not a writer, I like math.  I was really saying um, I’m only good at math not english.  Which is a pretty broad statement to put over yourself.  I like to do that, box myself in.  Anyone else?

So this year, I’m stepping out.  Writing.  I have things to say and words to speak.  Words that I feel are important.  I have a story to tell, and I want to be the one to tell it.  So I’m writing.

So, I guess I’m writing today to tell you don’t box yourself in.  It doesn’t have to be perfect, but take whatever next step you need to move in what God is calling you to.

Sometimes, I like looking too far into the future, but the only step we need to take is today.

We have dreams, true dreams, that have been placed on our hearts.  It’s our job to awaken and do those dreams.  They are there for a reason.

I have so many friends that spur me on who are pursuing dreams and making things happen in their lives and their families.

Like my friend, who is a missionary pursuing prenatal fitness certifications because she is so passionate about mom’s and their health.  If she can do it in Africa, we can here.  Or like my friend and her husband, who are pursuing rental properties so they can live their dreams together.  Or another friend who is teaching at five am in the morning before her babies are up to help their family, but mostly because she’s an amazing teacher and it will always be in her heart.  Another friend who is pursuing a degree to be a nurse anesthetist, she’s dreamed about it, kept pursuing, and now has the opportunity to go and do that dream.  I could go on and on.

Maybe the the key is to let others inspire you, instead of making you jealous.  I like this option better.  So, instead of jealousy I can let someone else’s passion pour into my life and inspire me towards my passions, whatever they are.

Be inspired even when you don’t feel like it.  I’m working on it.