Right where He wants me…

Sitting outside, it’s winter but it’s sunny and mild out today.

My kids are eating lunch at a kid painted picnic table in our driveway. They are happy to be together and with me.

The sun feels good. Warm. Inviting me to sit a while and take a deep breath.

Sometimes life comes rushing in and I’m ready to be out of that phase and onto the next. Ready to heal, to be well, and sometimes God just has more for me to learn. It’s not a step back but it’s a deeper stretch. Like when you workout, typically when you do the exercise again you should be able to do more reps, sink a little deeper into the squat, or run an extra half a mile.

And sometimes are just harder than others. So for right now I sit knowing I am exactly where God has me, where He knew I’d be. He is not surprised by my feelings. He is present. With me right now.

So I know I’m with Him and He is with me. So I can be okay, right here, right now.

Are you in a season of joy? Praise him.

Struggle? Pray and praise him.

Both? Praise and pray and praise and dance…

Know God is not surprised at where you are.

Psalm 139 says that every day of ours is already written down. He knows us better than we know ourselves.

Go check out Psalm 139-sometimes it is scary to be this known, but we are known by a God who loves us and never puts us to shame. Hallelujah.

Splash

This morning, I gather my three little ducklings (I called them my evil stepsisters yesterday, and I was obviously Cinderella) to head off to a local splash pad.  Energy was up and we need some time outside and in this heat water must be involved.

I’m driving and talking to my mom asking for prayer because not only were we going to go to the splash pad I was going to try and walk through Old Navy with three kids five and under in tow.  I know, it wasn’t essential.  Sometimes I just like to test out if we can make it.  It’s like an obstacle course or something.

As we were enjoying the splash pad, I felt the *pause*.  That moment where you can evaluate how things are going, how you are feeling, and you are able to be present.  And I was filled with gratitude.  Two years ago, this trip would have felt like climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro but today it was peaceful.  It wasn’t perfect.

I did get my kids a cookie before battling Old Navy, I’m not stupid.  I bought two shirts, and then made it to Barnes and Noble.  I’m pushing it, I know.  The kids played and then we hit that wall, you know the one that if you climb over it there’s no returning.  We were starting to act a little crazy, we had a poopy diaper, and tears for more stuff.  It was time to go.

And off we went.

We made it.

So mom, new mom, you can do this.  What seems impossible will be a breeze one day, then slow down just enough to celebrate.  I took a bath.

Reminded today: we are all on a journey and sometimes we don’t know where it’s taking us, but we can trust that we are being prepared for it.