Calm

This past week my husband preached on the Armor of God out of Ephesians 6.

We were discussing the sermon and how to apply it in our small group. We got to the armor of “shoes readied with the gospel of peace.” We began discussing it and how we are supposed to apply this verse.

Honestly, I wasn’t sure.

Sometimes in this is the joy of discussing scripture, we get to put more pieces together that help it make sense, because we are talking it out loud, and the spirit is not only working in us, but the lives around us too.

I’ve struggled with anxiety; therefore, peace is a word in the Bible I’d run to in anxious times hoping it would come flying off the pages into my heart.

However, this night one of my fellow sisters said, “I’ve learned peace has nothing to do with calm.”

This rocked me to my core, to an untruth I’d believed for awhile. I looked at her and audibly spoke “yes.” Exactly. Clarity. Truth.

We spoke about what peace meant for our feet. I believe in this passage it’s meaning was to sturdy us. I suggested that maybe peace in the gospel is that the gospel has made us right in God’s eyes, giving us peace with ourselves. (Ephesians 2:14). Peace with the war that goes on within us. Like Paul talks about in Romans 7, he does what he doesn’t want to do then ends with but “thanks be to my Savior Jesus Christ.”

There is peace, and it’s not always the calm I once looked for. It’s peace with the fact that my God accepts me exactly as I am: wholly and freely His, because of my Savior Jesus Christ.

Splash

This morning, I gather my three little ducklings (I called them my evil stepsisters yesterday, and I was obviously Cinderella) to head off to a local splash pad.  Energy was up and we need some time outside and in this heat water must be involved.

I’m driving and talking to my mom asking for prayer because not only were we going to go to the splash pad I was going to try and walk through Old Navy with three kids five and under in tow.  I know, it wasn’t essential.  Sometimes I just like to test out if we can make it.  It’s like an obstacle course or something.

As we were enjoying the splash pad, I felt the *pause*.  That moment where you can evaluate how things are going, how you are feeling, and you are able to be present.  And I was filled with gratitude.  Two years ago, this trip would have felt like climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro but today it was peaceful.  It wasn’t perfect.

I did get my kids a cookie before battling Old Navy, I’m not stupid.  I bought two shirts, and then made it to Barnes and Noble.  I’m pushing it, I know.  The kids played and then we hit that wall, you know the one that if you climb over it there’s no returning.  We were starting to act a little crazy, we had a poopy diaper, and tears for more stuff.  It was time to go.

And off we went.

We made it.

So mom, new mom, you can do this.  What seems impossible will be a breeze one day, then slow down just enough to celebrate.  I took a bath.

Reminded today: we are all on a journey and sometimes we don’t know where it’s taking us, but we can trust that we are being prepared for it.