I like to get things accomplished and check them off the list. Honestly I like to just to get through them, not to necessarily enjoy them. Its the checking off I like.
This poses a problem with kids.
It’s hard to tell when our kids will make that next step whether with sleep, with potty training, with new chores, or discipline. How do we know what to do and when? Isn’t it all laying on our shoulders to direct and mold them?
Whew that last question has about killed me a time or two. The pressure of getting it all right pushes down on me and causes anger and impatience with my kids. Because if it’s all depending on me, then I have this pressure to get it right.
“They won’t go to school with a pacifier!”
“They won’t come into your room at night to sleep with y’all in high school!”
“He’ll get it. She’ll stop.”
Those are some of the encouraging things I’ve heard along the way as a mom. And you know what, so far they have proved true.
For example, with my son I tried the natzi three day potty training, and whew all I had at the end of it was a headache and hurt pride. And then one day just before three he decided he was done, potty trained pretty quickly and slept dry through the night. Please don’t compare any process with yours.
All kids are different! (explanation point, explanation point.)
Sleep with my first born was tough, he had eczema so it made it hard for me to let him cry it out, which also felt completely against my nature. So we didn’t. But kindergarten has come and he sleeps through the night on his own. He’s grown. So now, I enjoy the occasional snuggles at five am.
My daughter has been different. Again, all kids are different.
With sleep, we let her cry it out at nine months and she slept great after that until we moved her out of her crib. Now, she needs me to lay by her until she falls asleep but it’s ok. It’s a good time for me to calm down too and realize I’m not in control of even sleep. It’s a natural process for us to fall asleep. If we make it something bigger then pressure and sleeplessness result (personal experience).
With potty training though, our girl was the same. We pushed a little but I learned my lesson with the first no natzi camp. Just before three she came out of the bath and decided it was the day for potty training. And it stuck.
A few thoughts on regression. Regression is a normal process for all of us right especially when we are learning? We don’t always get something the first time, so why do we have such expectations on our babies to be different.
Parenting is so rewarding. Maybe because it doesn’t all depend on us.
These are a few things I know:
- My kids are watching all I do. Good and bad and they love me still. And they are turning out ok.
- My kids are resilient. They can do hard things.
- Most of the things I’ve feared or worried about with my kids have ironed themselves out. They’ve grown without my constant control. Maybe in spite of it.
I’m hoping a mom or dad needed to hear this today. You got this. You’re doing it. Even if you don’t see results. Relax. Enjoy the process. Because one day you’ll wake up and that phase will be over.
Reminding myself. Relax. Enjoy the process.
It’s pretty miraculous, this raising kids thing.
