In awe

Driving home from dropping my son off at school, and the song “In Awe” by Hollyn came on.

I hadn’t heard this song yet, and a line that jumped out at me was “‘Cause Your Love is overwhelming…”.

His love is overwhelming.

Now, I like to use the word overwhelmed, but that’s normally when I feel overwhelmed by life.

In this new season of waiting, I’m learning I’ve had a hard time understanding God’s Love, I tend to feel overwhelmed by all the things I need to do. My days get clouded and I end the day with “wow God that was rough.”

And I repeat trying to do more things to feel good, to ultimately feel loved.

Have you ever tried to earn love? Exhausting right? The list to do gets longer, the amount of people to love gets bigger, and if all we have is our love to give-it’s not enough. We become exhausted from the race that never ends. Discouraged. Defeated.

Maybe God has a new way for us. Mmm…I am making everything new…” (revelations 21:5) is a verse on repeat for me.

Back to the song. The last line says “I’m livin in awe…’cause you don’t need me at all…BUT You couldn’t love me more…You couldn’t love me more…”

As is, doing nothing. He couldn’t love you more.

Even though it might be painful, think of your lowest moment in life, He couldn’t love you more.

Think of your best moment in life, He couldn’t love you more.

His Love is the only unchanging thing in this life. Lean in and let Him whisper that truth to you. As is, He couldn’t love you more.

Oh Father, speak to is. Help us to feel Your love today. Overwhelm us with Your Love in a new way. We need to hear from you. Break through our walls we’ve built. So our hearts can open up to Your Love. In Jesus name, amen ūüíô

Making room

Talking to mom friends this morning and realized motherhood is just absolute insanity.  We never know what we will get for the day.  It is a little out of our control and sometimes at the whim of our kids moods and behaviors.

It swings back and forth, back and forth. ¬†I’m constantly tempted to follow the lead of my kids for the days, answering all their calls, meeting their needs first. ¬†Sometimes I’m just flat worn. ¬†It’s too much.

There has to be moments that I take to rest, to recharge, to stop.  Stop all the dish drying, towel folding, juice filling, snack getting, picking up the toys, and shoes.  And I have to sit, be still, take a bath, listen to music, sleep, read.

Whatever it is that grounds me that day.

The days I feel most overwhelmed are the days I take my kids lead and set little boundaries for the day. ¬†This is an excuse, but I’m not great at boundaries. ¬†If we fall into two categories: one who sets strong boundaries and one who isn’t even sure what a boundary looks like, I fall into the latter.

Summertime is hard, I want to entertain my cuties. ¬†I want them in activities. ¬†But there has to be a limit at some point. ¬†Because there are little boundaries in summer. ¬†We don’t have school. ¬†But there are a lot of opportunities. ¬†We have vacation, weeks where my husbands gone, camps, church activities. ¬†I get swallowed up into them.

I’m learning ever so slowly people. ¬†How to ground myself. ¬†Grounded for me is standing firm, confident, having worth, and joy.

Today I am fighting the temptation to clean my entire house before we have to leave at four-thirty. ¬†Instead I’m writing, because that is a goal I’ve set. ¬†And I’m taking time to slow down, before I serve others in an attempt to better my attitude and to feel refreshed.

Margin.

Making this room in our lives to check in on ourselves.  To see how our family is doing.  To maybe even sit down to eat, not on the run.

I’m challenging myself with this today. ¬†And if the day is slow, it’s not because I’m not doing anything it is because I’m making room.

Making room for us to live, to breathe, to be.

And that’s okay.

How are you making room today?

Embracing it all

I have all sorts of emotions, at any time of the day.

I’m joyful. ¬†I’m sad. ¬†I’m happy. ¬†I’m mad. ¬†(This sounds like a children’s book.)

But to say all this, you already know it.  We are human.  We feel.

I got overwhelmed by all the feels this past week. ¬†End of the school year. ¬†Excited to be with all three kids. ¬†Overwhelmed to be with all three kids, all day. ¬†I need a schedule. ¬†I’m terrible at following schedules. ¬†I need freedom. ¬†I felt so frustrated. ¬†I was quitting before I had even started.

Comparison has been a slow killer these past couple of weeks. ¬†Friends doing new things, working, not working, teaching their kids, organizing their homes, and I’m here killing it. ¬†Or so I thought.

Life looks different for all of us.  One area we may be flourishing, and another not so much.  We all have those glamorous sides where we are rocking it, and those areas we sweep under the rug or push in the closet for one more day, laundry anyone?

With this heart of comparison, I had to take a step back. ¬†What was going on? ¬†Comparison was killing my joy and making me exhausted. ¬†Because I cannot be the best at everything, in every area. ¬†It’s not possible.

I’m realizing it was comparison as I write this. ¬†Sometimes getting it out, brings new light. ¬†

So our goal for the summer, I made this up last night, is to play, rest, and relax together.  Because we love being together.   

I’m okay that I compared my motherhood to someone else’s motherhood, because this is where I get to write from. ¬†A place of truth, authenticity. ¬†In that I want to remind myself and maybe you, we don’t have to be anyone else, our people in this case my kids don’t want anyone else, they want us. ¬†All of us. ¬†Present. ¬†Whole. ¬†Completely imperfect.

Lord help us embrace ourselves.