Still learning

We had a week of the stomach bug in our house. Which left us feeling exhausted, physically and emotionally.

But I learned something this week I’d love to share it. A lot of these writings are so I can remember and maybe remind you as well of simple truths I’ve learned along this journey.

So back to this week, my kids were not feeling great and needed a different level of care this week. We had to help them get to sleep, waking through the night to help them, and using our resources to get them better.

And through it all, I loved them more.

Their vulnerability, their inability to care for some of the simplest needs made me kiss their foreheads, hold them tighter, and whisper I love you so much. Then telling them how special they were to me.

My daughter calls out across the room “mom, I love you…” like an exhale to my care for her.

I’m honored.

Grateful.

I felt as if God was reminding me, see daughter when you need help I’ll give you more. When you need love I’ll give you more. Whatever you need I have it and I want to freely give it, my child. Chosen. Loved.

He doesn’t care what we produce for Him, He cares if we let Him go with us. He cares if we let Him love us when we have nothing left to offer Him but ourselves.

It’s enough, always enough.

Just enough for today

My blog name.  I wrestled with writing a blog.  I’ve never done anything like this before.  Yet, something called.  A peace.  Even an excitement at what might come at my sitting and waiting and writing it down.

It is a beautiful thing to trust God with something new.  Something uncertain.

Most days I have no idea what I will write.  And even in the stewing the days prior, thinking over words or ideas not much comes.  A lot of mumbled mess.  This is how I used to write.  In school I had all these ideas and I had such a difficult time picking one and sticking to it.  The pressure was too great to just pick one topic.

Prayer. 

It’s not a big prayer, but each day when I go to write, I ask God what He wants me to talk about.  The better days are ones where I’ve listened a little longer and got the clearer picture.  But still I write.

So, today, as I’m getting my car inspected I’m reading Daring to Hope.  And I am desperately trying to finish my two books for the month of April, which have proved challenging with kids in school, connect groups and family visiting-you know life.

Daring to Hope has been another life-giving pics this month.  I thought I would feel insecure reading about this sweet girl name Katie Davis Majors who has adopted all of these Ugandan girls, single and runs a ministry.  I mean that alone intimidates me.  But as I read, I hear this real life person.  This woman, a mom working this faith thing out each day.  Its beautiful and powerful.  It has made me appreciate the dark times, motherhood and ministry.

As I’m reading she italicizes this idea just enough for that day.  I was struck.

Those words.  Just enough for that day.

Those words have meant so much to me in these four months of writing.  Asking God each day what He wants from me.  What He wants me to be real about, to share a piece of my heart.  It is humbling.

He’s calling me to new things, things uncertain, but things that He is going to walk with me through.  And I can trust that I have just enough for today.

I don’t need an overflow, just enough.  

So I’m sitting on this phrase today.

I’m not exactly sure what our future holds, but I will have just enough each day to live it out.  

His promises are true, and He is faithful to provide.  We just need to ask.

 

Enough

Enough: occurring in such quantity, quality, or scope as to fully meet demands, needs, or expectations. Competent. (m-w.com)

Last night I was doodling, playing with my watercolor calligraphy pens and listening to music, trying to find inspiration.

 

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I have always loved lettering.  I remember sitting in class in junior high and high school spelling “SMILE” and making block letters.  So calligraphy feels like an adventure back in time for me, with some added excitement with all these different types of pens!  I have always loved pens and journals too.  A natural tendency if you will.

I was listening to King’s Kaleidoscope “Rain” and the chorus is “I am enough, always enough.  You are enough, precious and loved.  Morning will come, sure as the Son,
I am enough, you are enough.  You are enough.”  (Go listen immediately*)

Not only am I enough, but you are too.  This song sings deep truths over my soul.

I didn’t always feel like I was enough growing up.  I fell into patterns of “pharisee” living-trying to earn my salvation.  Maybe you’ve been there too, trusting Jesus for your initial salvation, but after that you needed to get your stuff together instead of trusting in His work on the Cross continually.

Through counseling and tons of encouragement from friends, I am moving into recovery as a Pharisee.  Its a terrible way to live.  It eventually bites you.

So on this Tuesday, my kids are all home, I’m writing while one naps and the other two play and fight.  Reminding you and myself, we are enough.  We don’t have to earn or merit our salvation.  It’s done.  Jesus on the cross and raising three days later.  It was enough.  For you.  For me.  For the whole world.

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The Garden Tomb just outside of Jerusalem

 

I have written on my cupboard in the kitchen “You are Enough, because Christ is in you, and He is enough.”  (reference John 3:16, Colossians 1:27, and 1 Corinthians 12:9)

I pray those words sink deep into your soul, and mine too.

Those are the words that will change us for the better.