Time to discover

I’m reading a chapter about boundaries. Yuck is my immediate reaction when talking about boundaries. Boundaries feel mean but I know it’s something I struggle with.

But last night I found some new phrases around boundaries that helped me and maybe they’ll help you.

  1. Boundaries help us be our true selves.
  2. Boundaries create space for us to discover what we desire, what we feel, and what we need.

I’m use to running around meeting everyones needs and then getting really frustrated when others don’t meet my needs, but most of the time I don’t even know what my needs are. Boundaries help us know where we begin and end and where someone else begins. They help us hold onto ourselves when circumstances become difficult.

What happens when we make room for ourselves?

Mirriam Webster defines discover as “to obtain sight or knowledge for the first time.”

As we come to Christ and sit with Him we can learn He saved us so we can be ourselves with Him-free of guilt and shame, knowing we are loved, completely as is. And He is there to love us just as we are and heals the parts of us that feel broken and shattered so we can be our true selves. Because “the broken things about us are not the truest thing about us (Aundi Kolber “Try Softer”).”

Sometimes it’s hard to get quiet. It is difficult to carve this time out especially if you are at work and it’s noisy, or at home and your kiddos are running around, or if you are trying to do virtual school. But remember Jesus is in you, we don’t have to go far to hear Him. And really it just takes a whisper “What do you have for me right here Lord?”

Oh He is faithful.

And maybe an easy first boundary is “I need time to think about that.”

Let’s make room to discover who we are. We don’t have to be afraid, we are loved and accepted.

Making room

Talking to mom friends this morning and realized motherhood is just absolute insanity.  We never know what we will get for the day.  It is a little out of our control and sometimes at the whim of our kids moods and behaviors.

It swings back and forth, back and forth.  I’m constantly tempted to follow the lead of my kids for the days, answering all their calls, meeting their needs first.  Sometimes I’m just flat worn.  It’s too much.

There has to be moments that I take to rest, to recharge, to stop.  Stop all the dish drying, towel folding, juice filling, snack getting, picking up the toys, and shoes.  And I have to sit, be still, take a bath, listen to music, sleep, read.

Whatever it is that grounds me that day.

The days I feel most overwhelmed are the days I take my kids lead and set little boundaries for the day.  This is an excuse, but I’m not great at boundaries.  If we fall into two categories: one who sets strong boundaries and one who isn’t even sure what a boundary looks like, I fall into the latter.

Summertime is hard, I want to entertain my cuties.  I want them in activities.  But there has to be a limit at some point.  Because there are little boundaries in summer.  We don’t have school.  But there are a lot of opportunities.  We have vacation, weeks where my husbands gone, camps, church activities.  I get swallowed up into them.

I’m learning ever so slowly people.  How to ground myself.  Grounded for me is standing firm, confident, having worth, and joy.

Today I am fighting the temptation to clean my entire house before we have to leave at four-thirty.  Instead I’m writing, because that is a goal I’ve set.  And I’m taking time to slow down, before I serve others in an attempt to better my attitude and to feel refreshed.

Margin.

Making this room in our lives to check in on ourselves.  To see how our family is doing.  To maybe even sit down to eat, not on the run.

I’m challenging myself with this today.  And if the day is slow, it’s not because I’m not doing anything it is because I’m making room.

Making room for us to live, to breathe, to be.

And that’s okay.

How are you making room today?