Yesterday I was picking up a book to read. Now I’m enjoying this book, but it was a challenging chapter.

I thought it might be triggering and I was worried I’d feel shame and defeat after reading it. (This is normally how I feel when challenged-shame and guilt of not being enough come to the surface.)

I thought I’ll just read the chapter as fast as I can. That will help. It will make it easier. I’ll just drink from the firehose.

But I couldn’t. My anxiety was growing and I could sense my resistance knowing it could be difficult to read.

I met with my counselor and we talked about moving slower. Still moving but slower. This is a constant theme in my life. Go slow. I know you think speed will make it go away, but actually moving through it slowly will be better. You’ll actually be able to do it. And it won’t be as hard.

I’m in between two books right now. They seem to balance each other.

The first one is “Sweet Like Jasmine”, by Bonnie Gray and the other is “Altogether You” by Jenna Riemersma .

As I struggled through the first few pages of a chapter in “Altogether You” I took a break at the next heading and put it down for the day. And then I read “Sweet Like Jasmine” and she reminded me God is for me. Jesus is here. He is here in the uncomfortable, He’s here in the good, Hes here in the struggle. He is for me.

And I’m forever grateful He’s for me. Did you know He is for you? I hope today you experience how he is for you.

Today I saw God was for me when I went for a walk and saw Autumn Crocuses. How precious. In Indiana fall is coming and leaves are falling and summer flowers are turning brown. But there among it all were beautiful purple crocuses.

Sister, He is for you.

Song “Blessing” by Kari Jobe

“In the morning, in the evening
In your coming, and your going
In your weeping, and rejoicing
He is for you, He is for you”