I am in no way an expert or counselor on this subject.
But, I have been asked to forgive. And here are some insights I’ve learned.
Forgiveness is not something we like to talk about, it might bring up guilt, or you may just feel apathetic towards it because it feels like too great a challenge.
About two and a half years ago, I listened to a sermon series from Bruce Wilkinson on forgiveness. He has a book titled “The Freedom Factor” which lays out Bruce’s take on forgiveness from scripture. It is pretty powerful, and the most important thing I learned was that I had the ability to forgive. And you do too.
Many times we catch ourselves saying “I can’t forgive! It hurts too much!” I believe healing is the process after forgiveness. Once forgiveness takes place, healing can begin.
Forgiveness is a process, but one that you are able to do. It may seem impossible, but that is faith. The impossible happening.
Jesus tells us to forgive, and that the measure we use to forgive will be the measure used against us. Two and a half years ago, I wasn’t kind to myself. I was hard on myself: judging my motherhood, my marriage, my friendships. The measuring stick I was using was impossible to meet. I wanted to live in forgiveness so much, but I just wasn’t sure it was possible.
Last week, my husband spoke a word, and I took it personally. I told him it hurt my feelings, and he said that was not his intention and asked for forgiveness. As I was fighting the feeling of stewing, a light bulb went on, yes I could forgive him! How powerful when someone asks.
But what about when they don’t. We can still forgive and trust God with the rest. Whew. Yes, forgiveness is trust that God has indeed forgiven our every sin, loves us still, and wants to use us. I’m forgiven to forgive. Isn’t this the gospel?
Three things:
- You have the ability to forgive.
- Ask for help from friends and people you trust to pray.
- The more you forgive, the more you feel it, and the more you can rest in the TRUTH that you are forgiven.
God will do amazing things, He will forgive through you.